


Purgatory

by KatieNuss



Series: Paradise [2]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-09-22 14:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9610676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieNuss/pseuds/KatieNuss
Summary: Artemis just wishes she could take it all back somehow. That she could fix it. But it's not possible, and so she feels trapped in a never ending cycle of 'what if's.Takes place after Paradise: An AU in which Dick was not taken in by Bruce Wayne, Artemis was not raised to be an assassin, and Jason Todd comes along for the ride.





	1. The Funeral

**Author's Note:**

> Artemis attends the funeral of Dick and his foster family.
> 
> Takes place in the Paradise Universe.

The funeral had been quiet, but there had been way more guests there then at my mother’s funeral. Everyone from coworkers or old military buddies of John’s to close friends of Maggie’s to classmates of Sam and Seth, even Mike, who never missed a Friday dinner after the system threw him out.

Jason couldn’t be there, he hadn’t woken up for a long enough stretch of time yet to even be aware of the fact that he was in a hospital bed. So I was there alone. Bruce Wayne, fucking _Bruce Wayne_ had offered to come, but I’d outright refused. His presence would have been distracting and completely inappropriate. He didn’t know these people and he had no right stealing their thunder at their funeral, of all things. But he’d paid for the service, I thought as a way of showing that he meant well for Jason. I had agreed to let him take Jason in, but I was still extremely suspicious of his motivations. Not that it mattered what I thought, anyway. Asking my permission was nothing more than a formality. Him humoring the protective feelings I held for Jason. I had no real power over what happened to him—I was too young, and what I felt and how well I knew him was irrelevant as far as the system was concerned. It terrified me that control over his fate was in the hands of judges, and now this billionaire, who didn’t even know him.

I heard Mike’s breath catch in his throat when he inhaled. He’d sat down next to me as soon as he saw I was there, just as much of an outcast there as I was. He and I were strangers to most of these people, they probably didn’t even know our names.

“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing I could think to say, and I hated myself for it.

“For what. Least you were there in time for Jason. I wasn’t even in the same part of town.” His voice was gritty, like he’d rubbed his vocal cords with sandpaper. “You know, they saved me. I was thirteen when they took me in. I was their first foster kid. I was spiraling fast and somehow they fixed me up half-way decent.” He fisted his left hand around his right wrist.

“They were good people.” I couldn’t make eye contact; I couldn’t look into his eyes, darkened by more than their coffee color. “I wasn’t one of theirs, but they were always good to me…”

“Not the way they were good to me.” He smiled, and it was so bitter it hurt. “And I couldn’t do a fucking thing to help them. Not a single god damned thing.”

“I’m sorry,” I winced, and hated myself a little more. I’d been to two other funerals. But this was different. This...their...their deaths, _murders,_ hurt more than just me. More than just my family, who were so detached and numb anyway that it didn’t matter what we said to each other. This hurt people I didn’t even know, and it hurt Jason, who would be so heart broken when he finally woke up, and it hurt Mike, who I realized I didn’t know that well.

“Just shut up, Artemis.” He exhaled. “Just…don’t.”

Though I don’t know what possessed me to do it, I pressed my shoulder to his. It was better than words, and I think, at the time, it may have helped him. But I never really knew and I never really would.

We stayed like that for the entire service, right up until the guests went up to the caskets to take flowers as a temporary memory. Then, once the flowers died, they wouldn’t have to hurt anymore, they wouldn’t think about John, or Maggie or Sam or Seth or….or Dick. Ever again.

They would fade into the background, and one day someone will say _do you remember when?_ And they’ll reminisce fondly.

But Mike and I would never have that.

We didn’t take flowers, because our pain and our hurt, it would never die.


	2. And it All Comes Back at Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His whole body hurts, and he can't remember why. At least, not at first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jason's POV

He saw her in splotches of color, at first. Unfamiliar and dark, her edges were uneven and blurred and it was like a ghost was hovering over him. He screamed, raw and unending and he couldn’t move, he was trapped and she was there and he couldn’t get away. He yelled for help, he yelled for Dick, he sobbed when Dick’s body crashing to the cement in the garage flashed through his memory and he screamed some more and the ghost was still there.

He yelled for Artemis and realized she was already there, that he could hear her talking to him “It’s okay, Jason, I’m here you’re okay!” And the ghost would go away. And he’d be somewhere else.

_He was in a blanket fort wrestling with the blue-eyed foster brother he’d grown so attached to, while their blonde friend laughed from beside them._

_Then he was in a dark garage. He’d tripped and fallen. He rolled over and pushed himself into a sitting position, while a white faced monster walked towards him, laughing erratically and clapping something cold and metal against his hand._

_THWACK._

The ghost is there again, and his heart starts to race, but she’s clearer this time, he can see the way her hair falls, that her eyes are green. He whimpers and a yell scrapes its way out of his throat. He tries to move but he feels pressure on his arms. “Jay, Hoodie its Artemis, you gotta relax.”

_He’s in a pool this time, swimming under water when he hears the muffled sound of someone jumping in the water. He sees a flash of hot pink, and hears a surprised shriek and a splash._

_A searing pain in his arm, the crow bar had broken it, he knew it had. He screamed through gritted teeth. He couldn’t get out of the way fast enough, and there was a hard blow to the back of his shoulder—he felt it dislocate._

_CRACK_

“Go away GO AWAY!” the ghost is a little girl, she’s sitting over him and she’s talking, but he can’t hear her over the blood pounding in his head. “GET OUT!”

_It’s hot, and he’s walking down the street with the familiar weight of his school bag on his shoulders, he feels a light-hearted shove from beside him and shoves back, glaring at the former acrobat. He just smiles back, laughing and throwing an arm around Jason._

_He can’t help it, he lets out a guttural scream and he feels something that is both cold and warm collide with his cheek and his vision is black for a moment. He tries with his good arm to drag himself away. His whole body burns and he feels every single blow to his back and side. And then he’s flipped onto his back, and he feels a weight on top of him. He can’t breathe._

_“Aww, is the little bitch hurt?” The laugh hurts his ears, and he coughs out a breath. There’s a piercing pressure on his chest. Sharp and jagged he feels something dig into his skin and despite his best efforts, he screams._

The inhale is so sharp it’s as though he hadn’t taken a breath in years. The air feels cold and harsh as it fills his lungs—he coughs and struggles to calm his breathing. He’s not as restricted as he once was, and he tries to sit up.

“Whoa,” Artemis is suddenly beside him, though he’s not sure she wasn’t there to begin with. He grabs at her with his more mobile right hand and she takes it in her own. “Don’t move too much, Jay.”

“What’s—where…” he groans and suddenly is aware of how badly his body hurts. Like, his _entire_ body.

“We’re um, we’re in Wayne Manor.” She sounded unsure, and he thinks there’s gotta be way more to it, even though that on its own is fucking insane.

“Where’s…” He grits his teeth as a sharp pain makes its way through his leg and torso, and basically his everything. _Fuck._ Everything hurts. “Where’s…”

_Where’s Dick?_ Is what he wants to ask, but he can’t get the words out, there’s this pit in his stomach and he feels like he could throw up and he doesn’t know why. His heart starts to race.

_Fuck_. His body is on fire and he feels like he could be sick and he doesn’t know _why_ he’s in fucking Wayne Manor of all places, and it _hurts_ and…

And then he remembers why.

It’s not in bits and pieces, it’s all at once. A flash of happy amazing memories and then being mad because Dick and Blondie had left him to go off and do whatever it is that they _do_ when they’re alone and he was stuck sweating to death in his bedroom alone and then he was in the garage, and it was cooler in there but he’s not paying attention to that, because there was Jack…

And everything hurts and Jack is painted up like a clown and it’s the most terrifying thing Jason has ever seen and he knows already, he knows that they’re dead—

_John and Maggie and Sam and Seth_ —

And he can taste his own blood in his mouth and he can’t get away, and there’s this pain and it’s in his arm and his shoulder his back and his sides and his face and his _chest_ and Jack isn’t stabbing him but he’s dragging something through Jason’s skin and then he’s up again, and it’s his leg his _fucking_ leg and then—

_“JASON!”_

And he tries to yell to him to GET BACK. GO AWAY. But Dick runs for him and Jack without the slightest hesitation swings around and—

CRACK.

_“Dick…”_

And he hears Artemis.

And he remembers now, what happened—

_“You promised!”_ And he hears her shrieking and sobbing.

And he remembers what happened.

He inhales so sharp it’s as though he hasn’t taken a breath in years. And his vision is blurred again, and his whole body hurts but it’s not just that—

“Nooo…” he groans because everything is so fucked up and he wishes he could be asleep again and he could be in the blanket fort or the pool or walking down the street, anywhere but where he was.

Artemis leans over him and presses her mouth into his hair and it only kind of muffles the way her voice shakes when she says—

“I’m so sorry, Jason.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come :)


	3. It's Over.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artemis receives a surprising offer from Bruce Wayne.

It had been something like three weeks since…everything. Jason was more lucid than ever, and I’d done my best to keep him company. He was effectively immobile, because of all of his casts and bandages and injuries…and though he was slowly healing he was trapped in there. It was a bit suffocating in Wayne Manor, and I’d be lying if I said I liked being there. On the one hand, it was a distraction; it kept me from thinking about the Blake house, where I’d gotten so comfortable, or about my own apartment, so full of ghosts and broken promises I couldn’t even see straight.

But I still had to go home now and then.

Things with my father were still…different. Better? Our tumultuous relationship had reached a dead calm in the months since my mother passed away. I really wasn’t sure how to feel about it. A big part of me worried this was the calm before the storm, but when I came home with an envelope full of paperwork from Bruce Wayne, I thought maybe the calm was permanent.

We were broken after losing mom, just…not in the way I’d have expected.

Bruce had caught me on my way out of the manor, Selina standing behind him looking encouraging and a little amused. “Would you like a ride home?” he sounded uncomfortable, and I blinked in disbelief.

“Um…okay.” I instantly regretted accepting his offer—I didn’t know what made me more embarrassed, Bruce Wayne seeing my shabby apartment building, or the people in my neighborhood seeing me get out of a rich man’s car. Both had their own implications. “I mean…yeah, okay.” But I couldn’t really say no.

“Drive carefully,” Selina pecked his cheek and winked at me before sauntering back up the stairs.

Selina Kyle was something of a mystery to me. She exuded sexuality like no one I’d ever met, in a way I couldn’t help but envy. She was a permanent resident of Wayne Manor, despite the fact that the place seemed way too stuffy for someone like her. The only thing keeping her there, I suspected, was their shared daughter, Helena.

He led me out to a sleek black Mercedes, one that was probably worth more than a whole year of my mom’s medical bills had been. It put a bitter taste in my mouth when I slid into the front seat. I barely heard the car as it started, and I watched Bruce’s hand as he put the car in drive, and then began tapping his fingers on the gear shift. I didn’t chance a glance at his face. Being near this man was surreal, and I still didn’t know what to make of him, quite honestly.

“So.” He broke the silence, voice oddly light considering the air had been drenched in discomfort for the last twenty minutes—though that could have just been me. I looked at him and he made brief eye contact before focusing once more on the road. “School starts in a little over a week, doesn’t it? You attend Gotham North?”

Why….was Bruce _Wayne_ asking me about school? “Um…yeah, and I do…?”

“Helena attends Gotham Academy.” He stated, sounding a bit proud. And why shouldn’t he? The place was prestigious as all hell. “It’s an excellent school, if she does well there she’ll have her choice of colleges and universities when the time comes.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard it’s a good place.” I glanced at him again.

“I would like to start Jason there, when he’s recovered of course. His grades aren’t spectacular—”

“He’s not stupid.”

“Of course not,” he said quickly, looking a little surprised that I would accuse him of making such a suggestion. I felt a pang of guilt. “But I think that at the Academy he’d do well, it would be good for him to have a change of scenery, given what’s happened. He’d have the same opportunities that Helena will.” That his rich daughter would have.

It dawned on me a bit slowly, what that could mean for the little pickpocket. Jason could go to a school that Helena Wayne would eventually graduate from, a school for the wealthy with alumni who had actually accomplished something in their lives. I thought about how incredible that really was, that someone like him who’s junkie mother had died on him and who’d lived in foster care with a bunch of other kids who had hopeless futures could go to Gotham Academy, and eventually to college.

But would he be willing to? Jason had never been one for school. The little street rat was happy to keep being a street rat, and even if he was enrolled in a fancy school, I doubted he’d ever feel comfortable there, like he belonged.

“Selina had suggested to me that he might not be too keen on transferring however.” Bruce continued and I stared at the dashboard because no, he wouldn’t. “But she also felt that perhaps he’d be more accepting of the idea if you were to attend, as well.”

I nearly choked on my own spit—“I could never—” I could _never_ afford it. I didn’t have that kind of money, even if I could buy the uniform I could never pay the tuition. “My dad doesn’t have that kind of money,” and he’d probably never give it to me if he did. God knows there were infinite debts leftover from mom.

“In the back seat, there’s a box for you.” He said it so simply, like it was nothing big. I looked into the back seat, and as he said there was a box. It was black, bigger than a shoe box, and represented an incredible amount of mystery.

“For me…? But why?” I wrinkled my nose a little, probably coming off as exceptionally rude, though that wasn’t the intention. I just had no idea why he would ever give me anything, he owed me nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“Open it when you go inside, you have a day or so to think it over.” He smiled at me and I blinked like an idiot.

When I got out of the car, I stood and watched him drive off, a few passersby on the street raising their eyebrow at him and then me. They were undoubtedly thinking I was taking up being some kind of a paid escort (code for streetwalker, of course). I avoided their eye contact, and walked up to my apartment in a daze, backpack haphazardly thrown over my shoulder and hands clutching the box Bruce had given me in a way that was simultaneously delicate and desperate. Dad was in the kitchen when I walked in, and I felt his gaze on me as I trudged over to the couch and set the box on the coffee table in front of me. But I wasn’t worried, not like I once would have been.

He raised an eyebrow and moved to stand beside me where I sat on the couch, staring at the box. “What’s that?” He broke the silence and I didn’t look at him. He loomed over me, and I could feel his eyes flickering from the box to my wrist. He’d been surprisingly concerned about it, since it had been broken.

After… after the Blake’s, he’d come to the hospital and all but assaulted the police officers in asking them where I was. They brought him to me, hours after I had initially been made to call him, and I’d collapsed against his chest in a fit of sobs. For the first time in god knows how long, he’d wrapped his arms around me in a way that was meant to protect, not to harm.

 _“What happened, baby girl?”_ and I told him. I tried, I’d tried so hard to protect them, but I was too late. I was too late and it was my fault Dick was gone. I’d fucked it up; I was too weak, like he’d always told me I was. I confessed my shortcomings and apologized incessantly.  He was quiet for a long time, before he pulled back from me, and looked me dead in the eye. _“You did good, kid.”_ I was instantly stilled by his words.

It was like my father was my father again, the way he used to be when I was young, so young I hardly remember it at all.

“It’s from…it’s from Bruce _Wayne_ ,” I breathed, and I felt myself rise just a little when he sat beside me on the couch.

“Well, are you gonna open it or what?” He mimicked my position, elbows on his knees and fingers laced in front of him. “Gotta be something good, last thing he sent your way was certainly decent.” I winced a little at the reminder. Bruce had paid my medical bills when my wrist had been broken. I was still in a brace. Dad had been so floored by the offer that he hadn’t even been rude about it, in fact he accepted it with surprising grace.

“I…I guess so.” I blew out a breath and opened the box, and sitting on top was a large white envelope with the Wayne Foundation logo emblazoned on it. I opened it, and found a few pieces of paper and a packet inside. One was a letter from the Wayne foundation. It was printed on fancy stationary—probably expensive stationary—and it said that I had been granted a full scholarship to Gotham Academy. My breath caught in my throat and Dad grunted in surprise.

“Gotham Academy? That place is pretty prestigious isn’t it? Do you even have the grades for that?” He took the letter from me with more force than was necessary. There was an edge to his voice, but it wasn’t condescending or petty, I didn’t know what it was, actually. But, he seemed interested.

He read over the letter while I looked at the second piece of paper, it was a check list of everything I would need to do to properly transfer, and then a packet of forms to be filled out. I set them on the table beside the box and then stood over it, and pulled out a Gotham Academy blazer. It was so _nice_ , unlike anything I’d ever owned. It was even in my size (probably Selina’s doing). Normally, I’d have blanched at the thought of wearing it, but it occurred to me that Dick would have loved it. I swallowed hard at the thought, turning to my father and holding the blazer in front of me, tucking the collar under my chin and smoothing the front of it over my body.

“Got you the uniform already, huh? Seems pretty sure you’re doing this doesn’t he.” Dad raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t exactly secretive about how he felt about the Wayne family. He didn’t seem to think that highly of Bruce Wayne, or to think much of him at all. The phrase ‘spoiled pretty boy’ had been thrown around once or twice since Bruce had come into our lives.

I didn’t necessarily disagree.

“I…I can’t. I can’t take the money.” I lowered the blazer and looked down at it. I could see Dick’s grin at the thought of me trying it on, and felt  a sharp pang in my chest.

“You can and you will.” He stated firmly, and a little aggressively. I opened my mouth, shocked.

“Dad, I-“

“You’re going.” He stood, the scholarship letter still in his hand. I held the jacket a little tighter. “Your…your mother would want you to. She’d want you to have a chance at a better life than…”

 _A better life than the one she had_.

I lowered my eyes and stared at the front my father’s shirt. He was right. She’d want me to go, she’d have been thrilled. My stomach twisted at the thought of how happy it might have made her to see me in a private school, a place where I could make connections that as an immigrant who only spoke broken English in her younger years she’d never have had the chance to. “Okay, dad. I’ll go.” I looked him in the eye, determined. “I’ll go for her.”

He cupped my cheek with his hand and we shared a moment that was so heavy with grief and regret that it was a relief when we finally broke eye contact. “I’ll fill out the paperwork.” He said finally, and I nodded, scooping up the box with my uniform inside and retreating to my room. I stripped and quickly redressed in the uniform. There was a navy pleated skirt, a white button down shirt and the blazer itself. I tugged at the end of the skirt, wishing it would be longer.

I stared myself down in the mirror, barely recognizing the person in front of me. I could just hear the whispering of Dick’s voice in my ear—

_You look so good!_

—enthusiastic and bright, and I tried and failed to keep my eyes dry. I collapsed on my bed in a heap, pressed deep into my mattress by the weight of my own misery. I didn’t recognize my life anymore. Dad and I were…we weren’t fighting; we were nothing, holding onto a ghost and a memory by a thread. Jason was all but destroyed physically, and emotionally wasn’t much better off. And through all of it I found myself wishing my best friend was here, so I could tell him about it.

I laughed bitterly at the idea.

When he was around it was all I could do to keep from sharing with him but now that he was gone all I wanted was to spill my guts. What kind of person was I that that’s how my mind worked? Though I guess you never really know what you have until it’s gone, and I’ve never heard a truer cliché.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, tears freely cascading down my cheeks. I missed him, I missed him so much it _hurt_ and it hurt even more that it was overshadowing the grief I felt at the loss of my mother. I had lost my mother and my best friend in the space of six months and I was being sent to some uppity rich school and Jason, god _Jason_ was _broken_ and scared and living with someone he didn’t even know—

And all he had left was me.

 _Me_ , who was so busy drowning in guilt and regret I could barely think straight. _Me_ , who when it came down to it didn’t know him nearly as well as I should have and who was too _weak_ to protect the only person Jason truly loved, who _we_ truly loved.

“ _Fuck_.” I wiped my face, smearing tears across my cheeks and sat up, stripping once again. “ _Fuck_ I need to get out of here.” I sniffled, changing back into a pair of shorts and t-shirt. I didn’t know where I was going to go. There wasn’t anywhere to go. I couldn’t go back to the manor, not yet. I had to at the very least compose myself for Jason’s sake before I got anywhere near him. I scrubbed my face with my hands, catching my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell, but I didn’t look nearly as bad as I felt.

I pocketed Jade’s switchblade, and shoved my window open before climbing down the fire escape. I didn’t have any idea where I was going, so I picked a direction and walked. I could have walked to the end of the Earth if there was such a thing but I didn’t, and eventually I found myself staring at the taped off front stoop of the Blake house.

It was eerily dark; there was no light in the windows and no warmth emanating from it. This place that was once a second home to me and held so many good memories was dark, and I noticed things I’d never seen before. The paint was chipped, everywhere. The siding was streaked where it had once been painted over with white, and its original olive green shone through where the paint had fallen away over time. The stoop was dirty, probably from the foot traffic of cops. Maggie would have wanted it swept. The windows were a bit cloudy with age, and one of them was sitting a bit crookedly in it’s frame having been slammed shut one to many times.

I ducked beneath the crime scene tape, and when I got to the door, I found it was sealed shut. Back against the door, l slid into a sitting position and shut my eyes as tightly as I could, covering my ears, and wishing they were all there—John and Maggie and Sam and Seth, and especially Dick, laughing that stupid gremlin laugh that was simultaneously infuriating and contagious.

For a moment I could almost feel his arm pressed against mine, hear him sipping on lemonade because it was still hot outside, even though the summer was nearing its end. He’d ask me “ _Are we gonna walk to school together next week?_ ” and I’d say yeah, of course we were. And Jason would roll his eyes at us, but insist we walk him to school first. But they weren’t there with me, Dick was in the ground and Jason was lying in a bed on the other side of town.

We would never walk to school together again.

We’d never drink lemonade on the front stoop, or get ice cream, or go to the park or…

I’d never get to feel his arms around me, his breath on my neck as he laughed.

I’d never get to kiss him again.

God, I wanted that so badly. Whether it was the chaste first kiss we’d shared that one New Year’s Eve, or the hot, sweaty kiss I’d given him on my fire escape not even two months ago. It would never happen again.

And it occurred to me then that Dick wasn’t just my best friend, in a lot of ways he was my first love. Someone that made me feel fluttery inside, that I was always excited to see. I loved him so, so much and I wanted nothing more than to feel him beside me, even for one more moment and that would never, ever happen again.

My eyes were on fire and my shoulders shook, and I couldn’t breathe, curled up on myself like I was but I couldn’t bring myself to move.

I wished I was dead, I wished I was in the ground with him….I wished for a lot of things. I wished I could press rewind or wake up like this was all some horrendous nightmare and that I was in his bed, pressed against him, and that I could open my eyes and tell him how much I loved him and needed him and…

But it would never happen.

It was over.

I saw Bruce the next afternoon, when I returned to the manor with a bag of fresh clothes and a folder of papers my father had gone through and filled out, and I handed then to the billionaire and I nodded my thanks, and he nodded back, smiling a sort of half smile. Like he knew I would say yes.

I ushered myself up to Jason’s room, and found Helena sitting outside of his door, dressed like a ballerina, and her hair tied back in a tight little bun. She had a few books in her lap and I raised an eyebrow at her.

“He still gets mad when I go in, so…I waited for you.” She was frowning, clearly not liking that she wasn’t welcome into Jason’s bedroom. “I heard you reading to him, so I thought I’d bring more books, to cheer him up.”

I smiled at her in surprise. She was unlike anything I would have expected. She was only six years old and was so shockingly down to Earth considering where she was growing up, and she cared so much about Jason, even though she didn’t really know him yet. Not in any way that really counted. “Yeah…yeah thanks that’s really sweet of you, kid,” I crouched in front of her and she handed me the books. There wasn’t any rhyme or reason to her choices; it ranged from _Pride & Prejudice_ to a philosophy textbook.

She beamed. “Is he feeling better?”

“A little, but…he’s had a rough go of it.” My own smile dropped a little and she frowned again. “I’m doing my best to take care of him, though.”

“I wish I could help,” she sighed a little, and I poked her in the forehead.

“You already are,” I gestured to the books in my arm and she grinned, hopping to her feet.

“I’ll get you more when those are done!” and she was off, cartwheeling her way down the hall. I swallowed and stood, knocking on Jason’s door lightly before letting myself in.

He looked at me but otherwise didn’t acknowledge my presence. “Hey, kiddo.” I tried to sound chipper but he scoffed and I sighed, because it didn’t sound authentic to me, either. I sat on the edge of his bed, dropping my bag on the floor beside us. “Sleep alright?”

“What do you think, Blondie.” There was a bite to his words, but I did my best not to take it personally. “I’m _stuck_ in here!” he raised his voice, cracking a little on the word stuck.

“I know,” I put a hand on his, squeezing just a little. “But you’ll get better. It’ll take a while, but, you will.” He scoffed again, and he looked so angry and so small in the massive bed he was confined to.

Jason had always been small in stature; he was only eight when I’d first met him. He was thin and short and wiry, but as he’d begun to grow through the last three years I could see hints of the man he would eventually become. It was in the way his shoulders had broadened, and his feet had grown three sizes in the last year. The corners of his jaw were becoming more and more pronounced, and I knew that when he was older he would be handsome, with those slate green eyes and his wicked smile; he’d be a heartbreaker yet. But he was still a child, just barely eleven. He almost hadn’t even been that.

“I hate this place, Artemis, I hate it here I hate being _stuck_ in this bed I just wanna go home—” he stopped himself and sucked a breath through his teeth, clenching his small fist around my hand. His knuckles were white with the effort, but I didn’t pull my hand from his vice grip.

“You don’t wanna go back there, Jason. It’s not…” _It’s not the same_.

I hadn’t gone inside, but even from the sidewalk, it was different. I wondered if he would notice the things that I did, or If he’d seen always seen them. I wondered if he’d imagine that everything was okay, like I had tried to do.

“Artemis I hate it here.” He took his hand from me and scrubbed it through his red hair, and I bit my lip, watching his fingers pass through the white streak that had appeared just over his left temple. It wasn’t something I’d noticed at first, but after his head had been unwrapped, it became more and more visible. Jack had done more than just broken Jason, he’d marked him. In more ways than I had yet to imagine.

“So let’s pretend we’re not here,” I said finally, moving to sit beside him, and opening the first book on Helena’s pile: _Pride & Prejudice_.

“This isn’t anything like Alice in Wonderland, is it?” He wrinkled his nose and I didn’t look directly at him.

“No, it’s completely different.” I flipped to the first page and he exhaled, slumping against my arm in a way that I couldn’t see his face, but only the red of his hair. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

I was struck with de ja vu, reading to him like that. I had read _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland_ to Dick so many times, and each time we’d read it, one of us was leaning against the other. It had killed me a little, reading Lewis Carrol’s novel to Jason the week before. The story that had once brought me such release was grating on my ears and my memory in a way I’d never expected. My throat had hurt as I’d forced out the words, and I tried to keep my voice steady. It sounded wrong, now. And I think Jason knew, because he demanded that I stop, and I had gone and hidden in his bathroom for ten minutes, letting my eyes soak into the bottom of my t-shirt where I had pressed it to my face.

This felt similar, but different enough that it didn’t hurt the same. I was able to keep the light-hearted tone in my voice, and I felt Jason relax against me in a way he never had before.

The tightness in my chest lessened just a bit that day, and I couldn’t help it, I read that story a few times in a row, just to hold onto that moment of not quite peace, but something close.


	4. Helena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason gets to know the other members of the household.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jason's POV.

He knows where he is now.

Propped up in the biggest bed he’s ever been in by a long shot, he feels like a damn mummy he’s so wrapped up in paper and whatever the hell they make casts out of. Artemis has been with him almost every second of every day, and he never thought of that as something he would want or need. But it was.

Wayne Manor was big and hollow and foreign to him. He’d never been there and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be now, but he supposes it’s better than being dumped in a paint-chipped house with a bunch of randoms. He hadn’t left his room once, except to use the attached bathroom—

He finally had his own bathroom.

The smile on his face is bitter. This wasn’t exactly how he’d planned to achieve that little dream of his—

But he’d had visitors. He’d met Bruce Wayne, officially. And Mr. Moneybags had declared that he wanted Jason to stay with him. Of course, he didn’t know how he felt about that, but when Moneybags joked (if you could call it that, he didn’t seem all that funny) that he’d already gotten Blondie’s approval, well. He figured it couldn’t be the worst thing ever; if he even had a choice. He hadn’t talked to the guy much, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. All he knew about the owner of this huge ass mansion was that he was rich as all get out and that he apparently donated money to the poor.

Not that Jason ever saw a penny of that. Bastard.

Other than that, he met this old guy, Alfred. He’d taken to calling him Alfie, because why not. The guy was a butler, which was something Jason thought only existed in Dick’s old movies. Alfie seemed nice, though. He creeped Jason out _way_ less than Moneybags did.

Then there was Selina Kyle. He doesn’t remember if he ever saw her on TV, but she was _hot_. Tall and she had a big butt and big boobs and a tiny waist. It was like having a super model in his room. Turned out she and Moneybags were a _thing_ , though. So much so that they had a freakin’ cat that ran around everywhere Selina did. Its name was Isis and it had a lot of attitude for being a _cat_.

Selina and Moneybags had more than a mangy cat, though. They also had a kid. He was pretty sure she had been an accident since as far as he knows they’re not married. She was six or something, and when he first saw her he realized it _wasn’t_ the first time he’d seen her.

It was the little ghost.

She had black hair like both her parents, but her eyes were green like her mom’s. She looked _exactly_ like Selina, actually and he knew she would be just as hot as her mom when she grew up. She’d come in with her parents and introduced herself, and to his surprise she wasn’t a spastic little rich princess like he would’ve expected. She seemed like she would be, since her rich daddy looked at her like the sun shined out of her ass. He figured Selina probably made sure she wasn’t spoiled, since she seemed like the more down-to-Earth parent.

The kid’s name was Helena, and at first he really wanted nothing to do with her. She introduced herself yeah and he was polite about it (as polite as he could be, Maggie woulda been proud) but then she just kept being _around_. It was really getting on his nerves.

After a while, sitting in bed got to be like being in prison, it was the worst thing ever. His mobility was limited to lying down, pretty much only on his back, and sitting up a little, but only if there were pillows behind him, and he couldn’t even do it without help. It _sucked_. Artemis had tried putting on some movie, and he didn’t even know what it was before he told her he didn’t want to watch it, it hurt his eyes. Really, though, it was just making him think of when Dick would make him watch shitty old black and white movies and…well he wasn’t ready to deal with all of that. He was already miserable; he didn’t need to add on to it.

So instead, she started reading to him. Of course it was Alice in Wonderland or whatever the book is called, because she probably hasn’t ever read anything else. How she doesn’t have it memorized by now is beyond him.

She read the whole thing through once, and he listened, he really did, but it was hard. Not because the story sucked (it wasn’t his favorite, for sure) but...it was because she sounded sad when she was reading it. The kind of sad he felt when she put on movies and so he told her to stop, he didn’t wanna hear that stupid story anymore. He wasn’t sure why it was making her sad all of a sudden, since she had been reading basically her whole life, and it only ever made her happy before that. But he decided he didn’t wanna know.

She did still read to him—different books, though. He had no idea where she got them, since she really didn’t leave his side except to use the bathroom (his _private_ bathroom. But he realized after a while that she didn’t go far for them.

He really wasn’t sure what the deal was, but he saw her pick up like two of them from outside his bedroom door one day. They were totally random, one was some kind of philosophy book, another was _Pride & Prejudice_, which he guessed wasn’t that bad. He sorta liked it, actually but he’d never say so. Still, he thinks Artemis got that because she read it to him like three times.

Lizzie was pretty alright; for being a girl character.

After the third book in probably a week, he finally asked her. “Where th’hell are those coming from?”

She looked up from the page she was reading, and raised an eyebrow. “Helena keeps putting them outside the door. She doesn’t wanna bring them in because you keep yelling at her and she thinks she should, and I quote, ‘give you some space’.”

He frowned, that made him feel kinda bad. It’s not that he didn’t like her, she seemed like an alright kid, it’s just that he doesn’t _know_ her, and he didn’t know if he had the energy to know anyone new. He was barely keeping his shit together. He could fake it only so much. Listening to Artemis read was the only thing distracting his brain from thinking about how the hell he’d ended up here. When she stopped, when it was late and they were going to sleep, it was all he could do to keep himself quiet. Artemis knew, of course, but she wouldn’t say much. She’d play with his hair and he’d hide his face in his pillow or sometimes in her neck, and he’d fight to control his thoughts and his breath and his fucking eyes.

He was exhausted and he didn’t know if he could deal with anything else. He was at capacity. But that wasn’t her fault.

Artemis stared at him a bit longer and he dropped his eyes to look at his toes, sticking out of the end of his full leg cast. She must’ve picked up on his guilt, because the next morning, when Alfie brought them breakfast in bed, Helena was right behind him, carrying a cup of orange juice for herself.

The kid didn’t ask to stay, but he didn’t tell her to leave, so she climbed up onto his bed and listened with him as Artemis read _The War of the Worlds_ through a mouthful of peanut butter toast.

She pretty much just _didn’t_ go away again.

She started trying to spice up his bed-ridden existence, and when Artemis was occasionally not there—went home to visit her dad or some shit, not that he knew why—she would bring something new to entertain him, like cards. They played some heated games of Go Fish, and he found himself falling for the little princess. He thinks he could probably deal with having a sister, he’s only ever had foster brothers and most of them sucked so a change of pace couldn’t hurt.

“Hey, Jason?” she looks up from the fan of cards in her hands, and he hums in response. “Do you like me?”

He’s a little taken aback by her directness. “What if I don’t? You gonna cry?”

“No, just wondering.” She shrugs. “I’ve never had a brother, but some of my friends do, and they don’t all like their brothers, and not all of their brothers like them. So I dunno how it’s supposed to be.”

“Oh, well…I’ve never had a sister so I dunno either. ‘Cept Artemis, but she doesn’t really count.” He shifts a little in his spot.

“Well, I like you. You seem al _right_ ,” she smirks at him. “Not as cool as me but cool-ish.” She shakes her hand in a motion that says she feels Jason is ‘so-so’.

“Brat.” She sticks her tongue out at him and he’d probably kick her with his good leg if she was sitting on the right side of him.

He finds out she does ballet, and she insists on showing him her favorite routine, and he pretends to fall asleep like three separate times during it, which pisses her right off and she threatens to karate chop his bad leg. He grins and decides he likes messing with her. She does eventually get him to watch the whole thing and demands his opinion.

“How the hell am I s’posed to know if it’s any good? Ballet is stupid.”

“Oh. My. _Goooood_.” She groans dramatically and stomps her foot. “You’re such a butthole!”

 _That_ makes him laugh. His chest heaves with effort while he snickers at her expense and she punches his better shoulder.

“OW! Chill th’ fuck out, _Princess_!” he glares at her but his shoulder shake with residual laughter.

“Butthole!”

“Princess!”

“ _Butthole_!”

“ _Princess_!”

This goes on for a while before Alfie comes in and gives them both stern looks. They both stop immediately, and Helena pouts. “He was being mean to me Alfred!”

He shoots her a glare. What a little traitor! “Shut up I was not!” She smiles at him and he swears she’s evil.

“Now, now. The two of you would do well to get along.” Alfie smiles, but just a little, and Jason knows he’s more amused than anything. “Master Bruce and Miss Selina would like to join you for your meal, if that is alright with you.”

“Why’re they askin’ me? It’s not my house. They can do whatever they want.” _He_ certainly wouldn’t ask.

“Well, as you may have noticed, Master Bruce would like to allow you the space you need for your recovery.” Jason winced at that. “Will Miss Artemis be joining you again this evening?”

“Nah, Blondie had to go home and see her dad or whatever.” Much to his dismay. He really didn’t like being alone in this place, especially not at night. Sure, he was bonding with the princess, but Moneybags still creeped him out, even though it had been like...

Well he wasn’t exactly sure how long it had been. It’s hard to keep track when you were in some kinda drug haze for the first however long it was.

“Very well. They will join you shortly.” Alfie nodded to him and winked at Helena before stepping out of the room.

“Can I eat with you too?” She looked up at him.

“No.”

“Well too bad because I’m _gonna_.” She blew a raspberry at him and he frowned, though mostly for show.

She was definitely growing on him.

 


End file.
